Weekly choice: some stress, more sex, Chomsly and the church

How Couples Can Cope with Professional Stress

“Most of us are familiar with the cycle. At work, the pressure to be “always on,” to meet deadlines, to serve the demands of colleagues or customers, or to deal with a difficult coworker can create stress that leaks into our personal lives. This stress can cause us to be impatient with romantic partners or kids or to neglect our duties at home, creating a vicious cycle of anxiety outside the office that makes work stresses even harder to face. There are countless examples of couples driven to the edge by work-related stress. And psychological studies have shown that outside stressors — particularly stress at work — can push relationships to the breaking point. But they don’t have to.

Listen and support. There’s a time to question, challenge, or offer solutions. But often when helping a partner deal with professional stress, listening and support are most valuable.

Recognize and respect different coping mechanisms.

Kill comparisons.

Be active together.

sport

Laugh together. Serendipitously, humor is also a key way to deal with stress: Studies have shown that laughter can alter your mood and soothe your stress response. Life’s problems are hard, but when couples can learn to tease one another, to laugh, and to use humor to confront life’s difficult issues, they may also manage their relationship and their professional anxieties better.”

http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/how-couples-can-cope-with-professional-stress/

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What Kind of Porn Do Women Like the Most?

In fact, there appears to be two fundamental truths about women and porn:

Fact #1: Most women don’t like porn.

Fact #2: But those women who do, tend to like the same kind of porn that men do.

First, there have been many attempts over the decades, dating back to the 1970s, to create commercial visual pornography that appeals to women enough that they would be willing to pay for it, and each time these efforts have either (1) failed completely, (2) only survived because of the financial support of gay men, or (3) survived with a female customer base that is a tiny fraction of the customer base for pornography targeted at men.

Second, […]

There are women who wonder if their complete absence of interest in porn is normal. Other women wonder if their interest in graphic, hardcore porn is normal. Both are common. The only variation that seems to be relatively rare is for women to have a strong, abiding erotic interest in softcore, “female friendly” porn.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/billion-wicked-thoughts/201401/what-kind-porn-do-women-the-most

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Noam Chomsky Amusingly Sidesteps Student’s Question “How Can I Talk to Women Better?,” But Explains “Life’s Just Empty” Without Love

“Noam Chomsky is a pretty unlikely celebrity. As a preeminent anarchist theorist, his political writing is full of passionate intensity, but in his numerous public appearances, he conforms much more to images associated with his day job as a preeminent academic and linguist. He’s very soft-spoken—I’ve never heard him raise his voice above the register of polite coffee-shop conversation—and frumpy in that elder scholar kind of way: uncombed gray hair, an endless supply of sweaters and corduroy jackets…”


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Ted’s best of the week! Rita Pierson: Every kid needs a champion

Rita F. Pierson, a professional educator since 1972, taught elementary school, junior high and special education. She was a counselor, a testing coordinator and an assistant principal. In each of these roles, she brought a special energy to the role — a desire to get to know her students, show them how much they matter and support them in their growth, even if it was modest. Rita Pierson, a teacher for 40 years, once heard a colleague say, “They don’t pay me to like the kids.” Her response: “Kids don’t learn from people they don’t like.’” A rousing call to educators to believe in their students and actually connect with them on a real, human, personal level.

“I gave [my students] a saying to say: ‘I am somebody. I was somebody when I came. I’ll be a better somebody when I leave. I am powerful, and I am strong. I deserve the education that I get here.’”

“Every child deserves a champion — an adult who will never give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insists that they become the best that they can possibly be.”

http://www.ted.com/talks/rita_pierson_every_kid_needs_a_champion.html

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News of the week!

After a long struggle that in most cases was happening away from the spotlight, the UN Committee on the Rights of the Child (CRC) confronted the silence policy of the Vatican in regarded the child molester priests. For so long, countries and the large majority of people kept quiet while looking the other way bowing their head with the hope that this malaise will simply disappear from public eyes and ears. While knowing that under the roof of the sacred house and by a strange reality of untouchable uniform, hundreds of men, perverted men, went unpunished. In many cases that were publicly exposed, the head of church simply transferred the abusers from one church to another, often in a different country. What else can they do when according to their faith all those sexual offenders really needed is to say that many Ave Maria and who knows how many Padre Nostrum. Not forgetting the convenience of the church to make it go away as fast as possible in order not to lose more of the already diminishing blind followers.

church justice

deafThis official call for justice will surely not be completed for it is all too obvious that the interest of the Vatican lay elsewhere, and it is certainly not going to help the ten of thousand of abused children that are scarred for life and the hundreds that died of depression as results of those godly acts. However, finally we see a progress towards reason and justice that can overcome the fear of the untouchable and all powerful church. When confronted, religious individuals often forget that it is not about one bad seed, it is about a corrupt system.

To read the official document, click here.

To read more on the matter:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-26044852

P.D. Probably the most disturbing is the response of the Vatican to the UN. The Holy See says this report is influenced by the non-governmental organizations which favor gay marriage. So, an NGO in favor of freedom of the union between two people who love each other is responsible for the accusation of child abuse by countless members of the Church. A Holy church which will continue, as Archbishop Silvano Tomasi, with its “moral teaching”.  May God saves us all!

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