SEX

Weekly choice, by peers

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10 Most Popular Psychology Articles from 2013

It’s been another fascinating year for the science of the mind.

http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/08/what-caffeine-really-does-to-your-brain.php

http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/07/10-easy-activities-science-has-proven-will-make-you-happier-today.php

http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/05/the-anchoring-effect-how-the-mind-is-biased-by-first-impressions.php

For the rest, we invite you to check:

http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/12/10-most-popular-psychology-articles-from-2013.php

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5 Tips to Help You Stop Limiting Your Potential

“His story was amazing. He spoke many times of taking risks and breaking barriers. He fought his inner demons as he struggled his way to a new life. He also had to resist negativity from some family members about starting his own business. (…) I learned from him that it is actually we who sometimes stop ourselves from reaching our full potential by not challenging ourselves. I was no exception; I realized that I too had been stopping myself from growing because of my own inhibitions.(…) I would like to share with you a few things I learned when I met my new friend; these may help you unleash your own potential.”

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-tips-help-you-stop-limiting-your-potential/

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Odd Facts About Kissing

“Mucus membranes inside the mouth are permeable to hormones such as testosterone. Through open-mouth kissing, men introduced testosterone into a woman’s mouth. Testosterone is absorbed through the mucus membranes in the woman’s mouth and increases arousal and the likelihood that she will engage in reproductive behavior.”

For more interesting facts:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201212/odd-facts-about-kissing

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Two Roads to Orgasm

There’s a reason couples therapy often doesn’t work for sexual problems.

“What’s often called for is some fearless questioning about really goes on during lovemaking. The actual who-does-what-to-whom, and how-does-it-really-make-you-feel.

orgasmThe reason all these couples found sex boring because it was boring.  And in each case, the most boring part by far was his dutiful attempt to give her an orgasm, despite the fact that neither of them was very turned on. (…) The intensity of orgasm is more or less dependent on the intensity of arousal that precedes it. Great arousal leads to great orgasms.  High arousal—the high road—doesn’t have orgasm as a goal at all. Approached from the high road, orgasm is just an afterthought, like dessert at the end of a memorable meal. (…) Sometimes orgasm can be a sort of giving up—“Well, I’m not going to get much more excited than I am right now, so let’s have an orgasm and get to sleep.” Most bad sex leads to low-road orgasms. Low-road orgasms can serve to relieve anxiety or get you to sleep, or momentarily quell unwanted sexual thoughts. But I encourage people not to take the low road too much. Better, if you can, just to skip dessert.

If it feels like you’re not even close to orgasm, then don’t push it. If it’s going to feel like work to get dessert, then don’t do it. Sex should never feel like work. Better just to skip dessert.”

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sexualitytoday/201401/two-roads-orgasm

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Person of the week!

Marina Abramovic, The Artist Is Present

Marina Abramovic , (born November 30, 1946.) is a New York based performance artist who began her career in the early 1970s.  Active for over four decades, she has recently begun to describe herself as the “grandmother of performance art.” Abramović’s work explores the relationship between performer and audience, the limits of the body, and the possibilities of the mind.

Both of her parents were Partisans during the Second World War: her father Vojo was a commander who was acclaimed as a national hero after the War; her mother Danica was a major in the army and, in the 1960s, Director of the Museum of the Revolution and Art in Belgrade.

artist-is-present-gallery-pic

Abramovic’s father left the family in 1964. In an interview published in 1998, Abramović described how her “mother took complete military-style control of me and my brother. I was not allowed to leave the house after 10 o’clock at night untill I was 29 years old. All the performances in Yugoslavia I did before 10 o’clock in the evening because I had to be home then. It’s completely insane, but all of my cutting myself, whipping myself, burning myself, almost losing my life in the firestar, everything was done before 10 in the evening.”

In 1976, after moving to Amsterdam, Abramović met the West German performance artist Uwe Laysiepen, who went by the single name Ulay. When Abramović and Ulay began their collaboration, the main concepts they explored were the ego and artistic identity.

Marina Abramovic and Ulay started an intense love story in the 70s, performing art out of the van they lived in. When they felt the relationship had run its course, they decided to walk the Great Wall of China, each from one end, meeting for one last big hug in the middle and never seeing each other again.

At her 2010 MoMa retrospective Marina performed ‘The Artist Is Present’ as part of the show, where she shared a minute of silence with each stranger who sat in front of her. Ulay arrived without her knowing and this is what happened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS0Tg0IjCp4

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Art of The Week! ”The Time clipping Cupid’s wings”

pierre mignard

This masterpiece named “The Time clipping Cupid’s wings”,  was born under sophisticated and artful painting brush of one of the  most successful painters of the reign of Louis XIV, Pierre Mignard (1612- 1695). He was a painter in the classical French Baroque manner, known primarily for his court portraits. Among his models were Turenne, Molière, Bossuet, Maintenon (in the Louvre), La Vallière, Sévigné, Montespan, Descartes (in Castle Howard).

Metaphors have descriptive, literal meaning.  We see old man covered with dark blue robe and hourglass on the ground, and like their “opponent”, Cupid, trapped in the destructive influence of Time, recognized in cutting his bird-like wings. He doesn’t seem afraid, more bitter and angry, and inner power is lighting from his eyes, knowing that Love that he is symbolizing cannot be harmed, Love like an eternal thing, mover of every human being, no matter towards whom or what we feel it.

Weekly choice, by peers

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Passionless Sex – The American Ideal

A short post reviewing the latest films about sex with the omission of love.

“Americans don’t like dirty sex, to judge from recent popular films about sex. So why are French women so sexual, if you believe French cinema. In French films, people have affairs, cheat on their spouses, form passionate entanglements, and – for God’s sake – take their clothes off!”

http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201311/unmasking-asexuality/passionless-sex-the-american-ideal

ps

Masters-of-SexWhen it comes to Sex, there is a wonderful new series called Masters of Sex that inspired to give us the story of the beginning of the study of sex based on true life of William Masters and Virginia Johnson. As in any good show it also explores relationships. It is a fantastic exploration of human sexuallity, in a way that is honest and authentic, evocative and provocative mixed with good writing, excellent acting and fascinating subject matter.

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People Are More Moral in the Morning

Experts are alerting, please avoid making any life changing decisions in the afternoon, especially those with moral implications; you’re more likely to act immorally.

“The morning morality effect has notable implications for individuals and organizations, and it suggests that morally relevant tasks should be deliberately ordered throughout the day.”(Kouchaki & Smith, 2013)

http://www.spring.org.uk/2013/11/people-are-more-moral-in-the-morning.php

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Real Men Go to Sleep!

“Add it all up and roughly thirty percent of working Americans survive on less than six hours of unconscious rest a day. Unfortunately, a deeply embedded American cultural tradition dismisses sleep as a waste of time. As one corporate executive put it not long ago, Sleep is for sissies.”

http://blogs.hbr.org/2013/11/real-men-go-to-sleep/

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Ted’s best for the week

Tempus fugit said the Romans many years ago, time flies, so stop procrastinating and make it count!  Meg Jay, clinical psychologist, tries to create a sense of urgency for twenty somethings so they won’t end up in their 30’s feeling like they wasted the past ten years of their lives. Nevertheless, if you are twenty, thirty or sixty, this is wonderful talk with a decisive inspiration to all ages.

20s decade

“Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital…  Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that’s an investment in who you might want to be next.”

http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.htm

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Person of the week, Stephen Hawking!

Stephen William Hawking was born in England on January 8th, 1942. Today, in the age of almost 72 years old, he is probably one of the most known man alive (right there with Maradona). No doubt he is one of the most intelligent men of his time, yet what is most inspirational about him, is that he didn’t let his physical condition keeping him from excelling in his field. Hawking has achieved success with works of popular science in which he discusses his own theories and cosmology in general.

Trispectivism, a word about Sex

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Probably the most disturbing issue about sex is that sex is, in fact, an issue. So much has been said about this act that somehow we lost the act along the way, along with the mixture of modern, psychological, occidental, oriental, theological, natural, and many more interpretative ways. Sex has become a public discourse, a symbol that all eyes are immediately attracted to, a photo on a movie poster or a book cover that augments the sales and a hot topic to boost blog views (never).

kamasutra

So what is Sex? Well, on a more pragmatic perspective, one can say it is a manner of reproduction, of procreation, of the continuation of the species and the passage of evolutional universal consciousness and knowledge. On an emotional level, it is the strongest connection possible between two members of the same species, usually, but not necessarily, a male and a female. When a man penetrates a woman, the immediate and most sublime sensation is the unison of the two. Two who become one, united in this cosmic energy, stronger, with neither care nor sorrow, as the most intimate company to each other. This is perhaps why sex has become an immediate relief of people’s feeling of detachment and sadness, an instant cure for loneliness.

However, there is a moment in sex when the situation is altered, when each person is no longer in this wonderful unison, an inexplicable instance when something occurs that makes us disappear, dissipate into almost nonexistence. This moment, as you well know, is the culminating point, the explosion of the entire sexual act: it is the orgasm.

Once you reach unison with your partner you are physically fused to one, your mental self becomes one. This togetherness is as strong as the connection between the partners, or in other words, the bigger the love, respect, and communication between you and your lover, the greater the fusion will be. A passionate lovemaking means to be absorbed in your partner and expressing your passion through the coordinated movement of your body. Now, during the orgasm you mentally detach yourself from your partner, from yourself, and from your surroundings, a moment where you find another existence, a more ancient animalistic one. It is when the individual All fuses with the universal All. From an immediate few seconds up to several minutes, the orgasm is the peak of the act of lovemaking; it is the culminating point that is the reason for our desire.

kamasutra 40pos
The position of the day

There is no reason why anyone should have any kind of sexual difficulty, discomfort, or any kind of obstacle to enjoying intercourse with a partner. Thus, when you get into bed with someone, hopefully you  have chosen this person not because you are obliged to do so for there is no circumstance that can be used as an excuse to be in bed with someone you do not choose to be with, no matter what you have been told or, even worse, what you have been telling yourself. Even if it is a one-night stand, a momentary need for a passionate encounter, we always make sure we are aware of our choice and accept it as such. It is probably as important that after we choose the person, the moment, and the circumstances, we should be conscious to another occurrence, where we are getting into bed not with this person but with an alter ego, or the person we would have liked ourselves to be. What I mean is to be whole with our physical self. Sexual intercourse requires nudity, which is something that many have problems with. If my partner is a female, it is simple: if she chooses me, she wants me not because of the things I do not have but for the advantages I might possess (at least in her eyes). We are all aware to the fact that women are much more conscious about the person they choose to have intercourse with, so do not bother yourself with superficial maybes. She will accept me just the way I am as long as I try my best to be kind, considerate, and natural with her. If your partner is a guy…well, make sure you choose him. However, both men and women admit that sex out of love is much better sex. It is where the pre- and the post-intercourse actually matters and affects the emotion in that heavenly moment of climax. Aspects such as caring, trust, security, confidence, intimacy, and patience are only some of the emotions and feelings that by far will incite a far more sensational intercourse. This interaction of the climax as an individual All and the entire sexual act as a universal All is, in the end, what we can call great sex.